Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Battle of The Bodies

There has been a female war waging. Esp in advertising. The web has helped to spread both sides of the campain. But it seems to me, that the middle ground again goes unrepresented. 



Fat vs Thin
Curvey vs Skinny



What ever happened to healthy?




I do realize we need plus sized models, do to the industries need to produce clothing for women of a weight/size range that do not fit in conevtional standards of clothing sizes. And I know also that there are naturally "thin" chicks out there as well. But why work so hard to fight for such a minor group? Why fight so hard on sides that miss the whole issue that really started the fight? HEALTH.

Let us tell a quick tale. Models are being urged to weigh in, to eat more, to not be thin. Those whose weights are under are cut from ads and let go. This is infuriating the noodles, I'm sorry the respectable ladies (who deny eating disorders to get as unrealisticaly thin as they are). So they are fighting it. 



On the other end... there are the more thick side of the debate. Pictures of weighty women, and plump models nude to campain the big and beautiful side. Promoting curves are for REAL WOMEN. 



Now, while anything that can produce offspring is a women..... (overies lady, sperm man) It is actually female hormones that produce said curves. But the curves of which I speak are breasts, hips and butts. Curves related to sexuality and baby making. There is a reason nature puts mens desire for hips, larger hips are better breeders. Its part of nature ppl. This does not include curves other places. 


Now that storytime is over. You understand. There is a war between the two sides. Two sides I see as both riding the borderlines (or crossing) of what is HEALTHY FOR YOUR BODY!

I'll never understand why healthy is not hot....



^ this last pic. The three ladies are all lovely. And all real women. But the middle one is the more appealing look to me. 


Why not just stick to the healthy BMI or fat BFP range for models? 

There is whining "its not fair to the naturally thin". PFFFT! Since when has modeling been a "fair" industry????????? To my knowledge you must be a certain height, look, and age range to even consider main stream modeling? I have only part of my left arm, by birth, so I realize that myself (and those alike) could never be models. DO YOU HEAR ME WHINING???? NO! GET OVER IT!

ITS BS!


BS that is leading to results such as this.... meet ms universe....


ain't she lovely? (sarcasm) nothing says sexy like seeing skeleton. Nothing says "best of the best." or "i'm a winner" or even 'healthy" like someone who looks like they escaped a concentration camp. 

and the other side....

the plump fight... 

Nothing is wrong with being plus sized... but if its unhealthy there is a problem. 
As seen in this popular picture....


Being overweight is no better than being underweight. You should want to be ..


THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE!

and that means vital, vibrant, healthy, happy, brilliant, content, motivated, etc. 


Just think on this for a second (refering to modeling) Who would you want to see in a swimsuit????




WE SHOULD PROMOTE HEALTHY MODELS. HEALTHY ADS AND TV MEANS A STEP TOWARDS A HEALTHY AMERICA!



....just sayin.......LD




The "Do 4 U" Epidemic (Prob not super chick friendly)

*this was inspired by a chick in an MFP forum post about her and her husbands issues. And the slew of "you go girl" and "do u" advice that followed. Bad advice for a marriage on the rocks already*


I understand, girls have power now...and thats just precious and all, but lets get serious for a moment. Lets put the PMS and mood swings aside. Lets stop burning our bras and bludgeoning with skillets. Lets just let go of the "take me for-serious" attitudes, get the hands off the hips, the scrunches off the lips, and talk real big girl life for a moment. 

Yes, *pats on head* your super-duper important, your the bestest thing ever, the prettiest and mostest awesome and deserving starlet diva miss thing anyone has ever seen. Ok, now moving on...



Lets pretend for one moment women really did want to be EQUAL to men, and not really better than them (ie - super bitch goddesses that crush their nuts and wallets at the slightest sign of disobedience and improper worship). 



Lets pretend that their feeling, thoughts, etc, actually mean something to women, and that women really did plan on fulfilling the marriage vows. That you do put his needs first, that you are willing to take a bullet for your love. That you do care about something outside of yourself more.


MARRIAGE

Let us explore what I define this UNION to mean, shall we? 
UnIon. UnI....on. (just saying....)

Its a merging, or two ppl into one. I personally (you do not have to agree, but me n' hubs do and that is what matters) think that it means that when two soulmates find each other, that they are eternally bound in love. Being bound together should not be bad, btw. To me marriage is saying "You mean more to me than ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE, INCLUDING MYSELF". 

WHY IS IT PUTTING SOMEONE ELSES NEEDS ABOVE YOURS HAS BECOME A BAD THING???????


Why is caring about how they feel or think bad? Why is caring bad? 

I think that the best marriage is one where the largest % of time is you spending making them happy. And they you. Its an exchange. You let go of yourself, and give yourself to them, they let go of themselves, and give them to you. You work to make one another happy, like a ying yang or a RING. A circle of happiness, that keeps going on and on. 

Yes there will be learning periods, where they did not know how to do this right, or that that bothered you. But you just settle it and keep going. 

And you DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN AN ARGUMENT OR GET YOUR WAY. Compromise ppl. Its not only part of growing up, its part of love. If you love somebody give a few inches, and try to meet in the middle. Your not losing. Its not a battle! IF YOU THINK ITS A WAR BETWEEN YOU TWO, BATTLES, THEN YOU ARE SEPARATING SIDES AND THATS NOT GOOD. 



It should not be this bratty prideful selfish desire to be right and get what YOU want. It should be about "Whats best for US AS A WHOLE?". 

And lets just be honest here, no matter how much they rock and you love them....

FRIENDS AND FAMILY (PEOPLE REALLY) ARE NOT REALLY GREAT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP!



Why? I'll tell you. 

Outside opinions, often getting one side, and prone to taking a side. Opinions that are likely not the same as yours (both "yours" not you "yours") They love to delve out advice, and its not often "kiss and make up" advice. And with the high rate and ridiculously common problem of failed or bad (or imperfect) marriages out there, why on earth would you take any outside advice? Advice that is likely tainted by a imperfect relationship? And even in perfect ones, its not "one size fits all". Something can work for one and not another. Thats why we use the "smile and nod" method. You politely accept, listen, smile and nod your head in agreement, but not absorb and ounce of it. 


What else can be trouble? Temptations. Like opposite sex friends..... let us explore that randomly picked topic! 
*not random, it was the issue the girl previously noted at very top was having*


Why do some ppl say that men and women find it hard to be friends? Well, I suppose not ALL do. But lets face it (lets get honest), its mostly an issue that ATTRACTIVE SEXY PEOPLE FACE. The desirable ppl usually realize that it is in fact hard, because ppl want them. They are physically attracted to them, and if on top of that attraction, they are friendly it seems that 2/3's is good enough to egnite a spark. Which is what causes trouble. I honestly am shocked that I have to explain this to people. But I guess that there are people that are less desireable (personality, sexuality, attractiveness) so they might not have had that issue. 



Picture you are in elementary school. You got this bestest buddy that you adore. Bestest buddy and you get in a disagreement. And bestest buddy goes and plays with other kids often while still mad at you. Here is where ppl get confused by tossing up emotional related details. "Insecure" or "Trust issues". 

Think of it in the since of a mouse. A mouse goes to one door and gets zapped, and another and gets cheese. The mouses mind will lead him to avoid the zappy door, and the cheese door will be more appealing. Even if zappy door was a door to its house, family, or freedom. It will choose cheese door. 



Well in bestestbudville, bestest buddies mind is now being conditioned like the mouse. Unpleasant interactions with you, yet pleasant ones with others might lead bud to pick another besty. Being that you have now become an unpleasant thing to deal with. Even if it was just temporary. 

This goes even moreso in life. Because that unpleasantness is often magnified by outsiders words. And also... if sex is not being had, than hormones can lend a hand in exasperating the dilemma. 

ME VS THEM

People seem to have an issue with the "of one mind" part of marriage. They act like that they and their spouse are on separate teams. Like their is a clear winner and loser. This is not suppose to be the case. Honey, if your on separate teams, your both losing in the relationship. 


It also should not have to be him vs your friends, your family, ex lovers, or even a dog. (that works both ways actually). If there was a big battle between you and his mother (very commonly wives and mothers butt heads due to the mother having issues with an idea of being "replaced" or out done by the new women) and this battle got heated, to full on war, would you not demand that he pick between his mother and you? YES! Most women I know have had this issue at one point and made him choose. So why is it okay for you to seperate him from family for your love, but NOT okay for him to say he has issues with friends you have?????? HOW IS THAT FAIR!!!!????

WHY IS IT, THAT IT SEEMS, THAT ONLY US CHICKS GET THE RIGHT TO DEMAND AND COMPLAIN IN RELATIONSHIPS, BUT NOT MEN?????? 

MEN ARE PPPL TOO! Just saying.

Go on pretending your Queen Fantastic, on your throne of Fabulous ruling your kingom of Awesome. Thats fine, strut the walk, squak the talk. Whatever. But if you refuse to see him as a part of your team, and your equal, then your DEPRIVING YOURSELF OF AN AWESOME LOVE.


So I suppose by now, you can guess, I'M NOT A FEMMINIST? True, I'm not down with that. I believe in SPOILING MY MAN ROTTEN! BEYOND ROTTEN! 

In fact, the ones who know us well as a couple have come to make jokes about this. And in his army group I'm dubbed "the cool wife" often jesting he doesn't "desreve" me. Which is bull btw! 

Not all deeds may be as obvious on both sides to outside veiwers, but he has his deeds too. I might spoil him in more obvious ways, but he has my needs well satisfied. 


THINK OF IT LIKE BATTERIES!

You both have batteries (love/needs) that need to stay charged. And imagine it costs energy to fill the others charge. Now they need to do the same to fill your charge. So your eternally charging one another. NO OUTSIDE CHARGING NEEDED. 

This is also why outside advice can not work. Due to how different each person is, pairing two individual ppl together makes for very unique pairing. Not all needs and whatnot work for all ppl. You must learn theirs, keep them charged and teach them yours, so they can charge yours. 

If you do it right, you'll know. There is a euphoria felt when a couples hearts and mind work as one. A sense of fullfilment and completion. 

Now, this is not to say, DONT HAVE FRIENDS, FUN OR FAMILY. Its to say... GET THINGS RIGHT WITH EACH OTHER FIRST, PRIORITIZE OR JUST LET THEM GO AND "DO FOR YOU". YOU CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS AND BE HAPPY. 

Couples can have friends and be happy. If they are a whole heart and mind. If they are a happy couple. 


.... I should prob stop here. I can go on forever!


love ld



Friday, January 6, 2012

2011

I figured it be nice to publicly declare the positive aspects in my life from last year. Each day is a gift they say. And each year is not promised to us. I'm thankful for all I have, and for making it to age 30 and into the new millennium and 2012. 


a quickie pic free list of my top 11 fave blessings from 2011:

1. another year married to my love! We celebrated our second year anniversary in november 2011.

2. another year with Josie. She is probably about 8 years old now, and I adore my baby girl. I'm blessed each year I spend with her. I am glad she is in good health and happy.

3. family. your never promised you'll get to see them again, so every year you do is special.

4. officer dixon. helping Jacob and taking a liking to him because he saw in Jacobs heart and saw his purity and strength. He truly tries so hard to help us through this process. Nice man
.
5. sgrt. paul, so willing and eager to vouch for Jacob and cheer him on. He is a good influence to Jacob. I think he sorta looks up to him in a brotherly way.

6. another year with Jacobs car. she is fading off a bit faster, we have not had the money to get a new one. So really everytime she cranks now (esp in winter) is a miracle!

7. well fed! we were not eating healthy, or as kings. But I heard of a family whose youngest died of starvation do to poverty brought on by the recession. We ate just fine, never going hungry. often putting on weight. lol. esp holidays. 

8. xmas. i know not everyone could afford an xmas with gifts. though family, love, warmth, food, music and cartoons really are enough. we still, considering everyone being broke, had a good xmas in terms of gifts. Not a vital part, not necessary, but a blessing.

9. hubby time! Jacob left his horrible job early to focus his time and energy on his apd application. That has givin me over a month (maybe almost 1.5ish) of hubby time! he gets to relax and enjoy no 16 hour shifts or crazy schedules, managers or ppl. and I get to enjoy him. rocks. major blessing!

10. I turned 30! sounds like I'd be sad, but I have had too many "close calls" in my life. I think if I was a cat, I'd be on life number 7 at LEAST! so every year I get to be alive and with my love and the world I feel is a blessing!

.... I notice my explanations for these are getting increasingly longer. lol. The "summing it up" I guess wore off quick. 

11. I guess I'll go with health and happiness! No I'm not the healthiest person every, I have afflictions and physical burdens. But it could be far worse! I have no cancer, aids/stds, debilitating mental or physical conditions, no broken bones (ever...knock on wood), my eyes are not awful awful, no diabetes, heart murmurs, blood pressure issues (any more), etc. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. and they aren't so THATS A BLESSING!

I'M FAIRLY HAPPY, AND I'M BLESSED FOR THAT. ITS A GIFT, NOT A RIGHT.