Truth Serum! 50 Truths

Okay let us let a few cats out of their bags! Let us pretend I have drank a truth serum, and am outing myself on some of my secrets. Secrets are not as fun if you do not tell them to people. 

50 Lani Truths:

1. Hubby has to remind me to brush my teeth before bed. 

2. If I run out of chocolate, I turn into a fiend and take it from other peoples stashes.

3. Though I hate onions with a passion, I sometimes still add them to dishes for flavor

4. If I am feeling sick (pukey) I will make myself throw up to alleviate it.

5. I do not shave everyday. Or even every other. 

5. I do not actually wash my hair that often. With curly hair over washing results in dry fluffy frizziness. I wash maybe 2 times a week. 

6. I can be snobby.

7. On that note, I do judge people. 

8. I am currently using "plum" eyeliner as a brow pencil. It looks brown, and I do not wish to pay the cost of a real brow pencil when I have the plum for free. (can you tell?)

9. I can not stand some of the (original) voices to un-dubbed anime. They are irritating.

10. I "re-wear" pj pants and jeans a few times, if clean, before washing.

11. I just about refuse to iron. I hate it! I always use the dryer to get out wrinkles.

12. I will dry a load several times over to stall putting it up.

13. I wash and dry "dry clean only" 

14. (last laundry one i swear) I rarely separate colors. Its only two people the loads would be so tiny! I just wash and dry everything on "delicate". 

15. If i am in trouble with my hubby, I will shamelessly through someone else under the bus to get his anger off me. (i know, terrible) Then, once I am sure he has moved past being mad at me, I "fix" what i caused.

16. I am actually a great but very subtle manipulator. 

17. On that note, my hubby thinks I am unaware of his more obvious attempts at manipulating me. I just play along. 

18. I want sex almost everyday around 11am. 

19. Since getting Mirena, I have had a higher libido. 

20. My first real orgasm ever was with my current husband. I never realized what "type" I was. (Explanation: gyno gal on "the doctors" said there are two types of girls. One with magic spot inside vagina, one with magic spot onside around clit) Apparently I am the second type, but if i stimulate both at once it is so strong i want to literally cry and scream. TMI?

21. I like and value animals above most people and almost all children. 

22. I think rather lowly of people who use the F word. 

23. My opinion on most average republicans is pretty ....well, not great.

24. I put (a decent bit, it takes a couple layers) makeup over my scars on my chest (see below image)

25. On that not, I will "Photoshop" some of my pics. One of the reasons? my keliods on my chest (scars)

26. I like and hate taking group pictures. (like because its like "look I am having fun with friends and actually have a life" but hate because I am actually NOT that photogenic. Only I can get decent pics of myself like with selfies but it still takes multiples to do which is not always an option for group pics)

27. I do not really like the way most pictures of me smiling look. I get what I call "Fred Flintstones" which are the marks or folds, whatever, from your cheeks to your nose when you smile. It draws attention to my nose, which I hate. So most pics I do not smile in. 

28. Men scare me. Any man, any age (over 21) any creed, any race, that I do not know (and some I do) is a threat to me. 

29. Dispite having scars. I like wearing low cut shirts! Mostly, for me.

30. Good truth. I dont stink much. Really. My gas, which i do not often have, rarely ever has a smell or sound, and I do not really sweat much (why I overheat so easy) and even the little I do doesnt stink. I am not sure why some peoples sweat smells and others do not. 

31. I am kinda scared about losing my medicaid and being off my crazy pills

32. I worry about whether or not I could EVER sustain a job long enough with my bipolar issues. 

33. I am considered a "tax break" for jobs due to being "handicapped" and it does not bother me. 

34. I rarely dust stuff above my head. I forget that area exists.

35. Even when I admire what others have a rarely get jealous over anything. But I enjoy playing "jealous" over my hubby (he has a ton of girls flirt with him all the time and call him their present or man or boyfriend). Not to say it is impossible. I can get pretty flutered every now and then when I do get jealous over him. But he is one of very few things I get jealous over. I do not if girls are prettier, or if someone has more money, or better stuff, or a fun life. But it can happen. it is just rare.

36. I am not a very good gamer.

37. I only learned to spell better from texting and autocorrect.

38. I am one of those smartphone addicted people. Seriously. 

39. I do not have tons of friends right now. I actually have become more introverted and less people tolerant in my older years. I love saying hi to strangers and complimenting them and making them smile... but i prefer they stay strangers. Friends can be a lot of work. My hubby takes up so much of my life right now. I just have not got a big need for huge groups of friends.

40. I am not sure that I actually know some of the people on my Facebook. 

41. I finally gave in a few weeks ago and joined SNAPCHAT. I wanted more people to Snapchat with and put my sn up on Instagram. That was a mistake. I got tons of guys from ages 18 to 35 adding me and hitting on me or sending me shirtless pics! I took it off Instagram after that. And had to block and unfollow people.

 42. I do NOT like to tell people my mistakes. Lets be honest, I make them too often. I usually just do what I can to fix or hide them and move on silently. 

43. In case you were unaware, I have one arm. Missing half left. If I could magically grow an arm tomorrow I am not sure I would want to. Because then I would be like everyone else.

44. I have only one issue with having one arm. I cant do my hair.

45. I am very territorial over my name. I do NOT like other people having it.

46. Most Elena's I see are prettier and more successful than me. I am not a very high ranking Elena.

47. I am completely okay with failing or sucking.

48. I have never thought I was ugly or stupid. No matter what happens to me. No matter what people say. I kinda do not value others opinions enough. (well, not over my own anyway) and have been that way just about forever. Even as a kid. 

49. I am a mid level "conspiracy theorist". I think most people are sheep, but I also think a lot of Cons. Theo.'s are nut jobs or gullible. 

50. I refuse to "re-wear" undies or socks. But I will bras. If my undies come off my feet, that is it. They are done. Even if only worn 5 mins. And socks? Once they come off, even after a few minutes, they are done. But bras, as long as not sweat in, I will wear over and over. 

Okay. I think that is enough TELL ALL for now. 

Have a good day!

Blanketing The Fog

What is the truth?

Is it possible that maybe the movie "The Matrix" was on the right track? Could our world be a blanket of thick fog set before our eyes to distract us, to limit what we see, what we know?

The other night, I had a dream of which I can find no image to assist in illustrating. Well, less a dream as a vivid flash of a vision blindside me while shutting my eyes to try to relax and fall asleep. It was quick, with no rem nits after my eyes open, nor upon re-shutting them. 

A veil or dark sheet being pulled over my eyes. Almost like I closed my eyes in time to just catch the end of the act, just in time to see the pale hand and blackish purple covering. Like a creepy night. Though the vision was fleeting, the eery feeling and questions were not. 

I am rational enough to realize that the likliehood the actual vision means anything is not great. What IF we were being controled, or mislead. What if our reality is NOT what the world is around us. Is our whole understanding of life wrong or false? 

Is it feasible that an event like we are always "waiting on" has already happened and the destruction or defeat has already taken place? Could we be being controlled in order to obtain some specific goal? Contain rioting, anarchy, or something else? Or even less along the lines of the "Matrix" movie, is it more suddle? Are we simply being lied to on a grander scale in our own reality? With the distractions of technology and stress of modern day life, how could anyone have time to notice any of this?

But, at some point, the lies must come falling down. At some point the truth will be revealed. And the shock to our society will be massive! as the world they thought they knew, its history, stories, idols, wars, all crumble in their hands. 

While I must warn you, I am prone to conspiracy theories on occasion. I am NOT a nut job with them, believing ANY crack pot theory thrown in my face. I am not sure I believe the one surrounding Obama. (video below) I do believe there is something going on behind the scenes with our government, something has been for so many years now. And I have a feeling its probably NOT GOOD. Less fantastic than they might try to convince us all it is. 

I would not be shocked if there was a "one world government" as prophesied, in the works. It be fitting to a few other things popping up lately. Its not uncommon, in fact its often, that LIES will hide themselves within TRUTH.

Like this show, "Ancient Aliens". Lets examine that briefly. Quite a few people would readily dismiss all as lies, giving no credence to anything that comes from the mouth of the "Ancient Astronaut Theorist". I however see that there is LIKELY to be a sweet and sour mix of both truth and lies. Truth is a Lie's best disguise. With its own face, It would get no where. 

I think that that is how EVERYTHING should be thought of, PART TRUTH, PART FICTION. Why? Because HUMAN INTERACTION with everything you "hear" or "learn". Humans LIE, and puff up the truth. After years of humans spreading the same information, shouldn't you expect that.....the water might be dirty since everyone's bathed in it? I THINK SO! 

I think that there are big pieces to our puzzle missing. Ones we might not get back, and others that will be so numerous, we might be crushed upon the receiving of them. I think that everyones searches for the truth, wants it so badly. Its in our nature to. But what if this truth screwed up your whole life, messed with your whole reality. Maybe even your loved ones, your house, food, EVERYTHING. 

Ask yourself, which pill would you take?

Would you allow your eyes to be opened to reality, which could be devastating. Or would you rather wrap yourself up in your warm comfortable blanket of lies and hide from the truth?

I, myself, have trouble saying "yes" to possible crippling devastation and mental anguish! Simple point, its bad, negative, ICKY. So why thrust yourself into it? Knowledge. Its the "knowing", the need to know the truth. They say truth sets us free, and it may feel that way. But it is possible the truth could reveal that we are not at all free, that we are doomed to be slaves or worse. It could be a nightmare waiting for you. A dream devouring nightmare world. But still, how do you say "no" to THE TRUTH?

Just a few thoughts. Take them as you will. Or don't take them at all. The choice is yours. In your mind, you are always free. In your mind, you can seek out truth, and fight back.

LD