Lucky

This post will likely be short. I just had a thought on my brain and I figured why not share it on my blog. I haven't been blogging as much recently. I guess for a while now. But I had a thought that seemed important. I feel it is important.

I am lucky.

There are many versions of that sentence, many definitions, many details, many ways that statement is true. But the one I'm specifically talking about, the one that came to my brain and is flooding it with emotions currently is my future.

I am lucky that my bad past has not badly affected my future. I am lucky that I get to be happy despite all of the really stupid decisions that I made. I am lucky to be loved so much by my husband despite the fact that he was good in his past and I was wild. I feel blessed to be loved by someone like him. Sometimes, you kind of feel like you don't deserve it. But I do everything I can everyday to feel more like I deserve His love. Spoil him rotten.

I just feel so lucky that all of my bad decisions, years wasted making bad decisions, have not darkened my future. Or my present. Lucky to have this life lucky to have his love. Lucky to be forgiven by Jesus for all my sins. Lucky to have a family like I have. Not only the one I've always had but the 1 I gained through my husband. When it gets down to it... I have a pretty good life now.:-)

Thank you god.

Avergage Joe Sucks

Mr. Wrongs are everywhere....

Here is a blog for you single and looking girls out there. There are plenty of fish in the sea they say, but unfortunately a lot of those fish are losers. Harsh? But true. In your own particular contest for MR. RIGHT, most of the guys fall short. Now to be fair, a lot of girls add a few to many things to the "must be" list that don't or should not matter in a desire to impress the world or meet day dreams they have had or books they read, or movies they see. But, it is true that even through the seemingly "nice" guys, there are far too many no-nos. So girls, to have a hottie or desirable man, will date a lot of bad eggs and jerks. Or just bad fits. Convincing themselves that all men suck. While I would say I agree with that, there is some male sided explanation needed before I continue on the "most men suck" road.

Men are affected by those around them. VERY STRONGLY. They are affected by what they see, and learn. How they were brought up, who befriended them growing up, who they idolized, etc. All make up the man you meet. Men, more than women, seem to be a product of their environment. A fictional example, look at batman. His early childhood greatly affected his whole life. Or think of men going to Vegas (whose slogan is "what happens here stays here") If one snorts cocaine off a drunken hooker the rest are likely to join in. (Sort of kidding with the last example...sort of)

Women as teenagers are not much different. But it stops there. After collage we are a lot less likely to be SO easily affected. Not completely without though. There are the clucking hen friends that always advise "He is probably cheating on you" or "leave his butt", or "screw what he thinks!" or "He doesn't seem to care about what you want" or the classic "If it was me...". 

Quick advice, never listen to outside advise on your relationship. Unless it's a professional!

Anyway. MEN. Bad men signs. Let's do this.

1. Eateries. Places one eats. Never pick up a guy from Hooters anything similar. This is surely a sign that not only will this continue through your relationship, but that said man has eyeball mind control issues. Not exactly a sign of class. 

These girls flirt for tips or get fired. Just remember that. They are used to married men hitting on them, probably more than single guys, so it won't mean much to them. 

2. Strip clubs. No not all men go to strip clubs. There is a very rare breed of men that have higher moral standards, or at least when in a relationship. If can grab one who has never been, it's like a lottery win. Rare and lucky! 

Some men don't just see the skin, but the lack of opportunity to get that skin, the sex diseases surely running rampid, or just plain find being horney in public (surrounded by other horney men everywhere around you) bothering. If they ever met or knew one, they know how truly unhappy the girls are. How they have to live in denial or drugging themselves to handle their jobs. Though there are a few just born to skank. That want attention any way they can get it, that have a need to have men drool over them and use them. But most are circling a drain funded by the patrons. And rarely single, or in happy relationships. 

3. Porn. Porn is bad, mmmkay? It is not a healthy practice for any relationship. Not even for the women. (Nor are women not having sex with their men for the love of their sex toys) You should keep love beautiful, magical and pure. Make love, not f***. That's crude and nasty. Love can be crazy, but there is emotions of love mixed in the acts, vs just "I want to get mine". 

There are two kinds of women I will discuss with porn. One "I don't care" and the other "heck no". The careless ones often are either insecure and not wanting dude to run off from upsetting him, trying to be cool women, or they themselves porn hounds and want the right. None of which are good in the long run. 

The "NO!" ones? Let us see if we can break down why they might not like this. True, there are some insecure girls in this group too. But some just think "Eew". Also the godly girls who are aware bible says "no" to this also. 

Porn takes your mate out of the picture, while you are having an "almost sex" experience with another "person". (Who ever, whatever, you are watching) It also, not classy. Very skanky. It makes the "love" you make with your spouse mean less. It means images of naked people are in your mind always. It means your person is not satisfying you and instead of finding a together fix it solution you are ignoring the problem by "getting yours" without them. Most spouses are willing if in love and notified correctly , to be your fantasy. Or beyond. To work with you to almost boundless ends. Got to stop thinking "me" and start thinking "we")

There are men who give up all this when they meet their dream girl. 

4. Mama's boys. Oh yes. To the moms out there, you might get defensive. But be aware, this term is not just for every boy who loves his mom, but to the ones who take it too far. 

This refers to men who will dash out on plans to meet mommy for tea, or who stop dating a girl cause mommy said no. Men who remember there moms birthday but forget your anniversary, or who go on kinda creepy mom dates with mommy. Feet rubbing, face kissing, flower giving, hand holding, mamas boys. 

Women are nurturing guys. Even the bitchy ones deep down. It's just in our DNA. We want to take care of our men, and later our family we build with that guy. We do not want to compete with a mother who is so desperate for male attention she tries to drive away any chick from her "baby boy" who is playing the part her husband is not. (Or lack of). We do not need to be criticized, picked on, bossed around, watched, gossiped about, or to try to pry you off mommies lap long enough to say "hi!". We want a MAN. A GROWN MAN! Not a big baby stuck sucking on mommy's tit. Women will avoid these types of guys. 

Bible :

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

(Mark 10:6-9 ESV)

5. Words. A classy girl will not tolerate well a man who uses foul language. 

Its trashy, uncooth, and vulgar. Its one thing to make a point, or to tell a quick bad joke, or if you're in a fury, or in pain. But to throw them in like its increasing your penis size each word, no. Not good. In fact any stupid act men do to try to hard to be more manly puts off a signal to smart classy girls "compensating?" Real men just are great, they do not have to pretend to be, or do dumb things to put up a front of big peepees. They just exude confidence and are themselves. 

5. Bad friends. Bad friends are almost equal to Mamas boy. If I guy mimics his friends or has similarities to them, and surrounds himself with pricks, then it does not look good for the future. These guys will affect his opinion, clothing, actions, etc. And to an onlooking chick this is bad news. In fact, bad friends mixed with one nice guy friend can mean your chick will leave you for him. Women think they want one thing, but after they get enough of that they wake up and want another.

"You can't make the right decisions 'til you tried all the wrong ones?" Sweet home Alabama. 

Actually, this is fairly true for some women. But once we have our epiphany, there is no changing our minds. 

6. Bad manners. Yes manners still matter. Do we expect you to act as fabulously as the men in our chick flick movies from the 15,16, 17, 18 hundreds? No. That's one of those dreams girls have like winning  an endless lottery, her foe magically getting fat and ugly, her evil boss getting fired in a super embarrassing fashion and her getting promoted, or finding a genie with no wish limit. 

No matter how feminist a girl is, she does not want to be treated LITERALLY like one of the boys. Unless she has serious emotional or mental issues. Women may fight it, but we like chivalry. We don't want it to die. Some unhappily married or miserably lonely bitch complained and started a revolution like war against it one day, and it's been fading out ever since. The rest of us chicks, meanwhile, pond our fists at the air and cry out "Why???". We want it. We would have to get used to it, be aware, if we have never had it though. It can be shocking. 

Even something as simple as door openings, like my hubby does, or carrying heavy things. Whatever. MANNERS AND CHIERLY. Bless me when I sneeze or suffer. That is my motto. I have a HUGE pet peeve with that. 

Now we are aware some men were not taught right, they don't know manners. Learn some basics or tell us, we can help! Be warned, some chicks could try to take this to far, address that early. 

Please don't lugee or belch in front of us. In time a fart might pass with laughs that is one thing, but blatant disregard for manners is a bad sign. 

7. Lying. Withholding, disguising, falsifying the truth all bad. Be honest. Women like honesty! Open and honest. There is always a way to tell the truth that will be ok. Even if its a dress that looks awful. You will get in trouble, but do it sweetly as possible and it will be less. In the long run, we want the truth. And lies get you in way more. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE OK LYING TO YOUR GIRL.

Really no need to further explain that. It's sort of grade school stuff.

8. Kids, for the kids loving or wanting ladies. Can be ok, for the kids not wanting (me) ladies...bad. Also, kids from to many mothers, not a good sign. That's a lot of "it didn't work out" to take in. 

Wanting or not wanting can be a deal breaker or maker with women. This varies with each lady. I personally do not like kids. But still, no woman (well, most) would never date a guy who would hurt kids in any way. If you treat kids badly, it does not say much about you as a person. Also its a good sign you won't treat her right either! 

Which brings us to....

9. Temper. Short and sweet... No black or white. No wimping out completely, but no wife beating kill the infidel kinda temper either. We want a man who is passionate, so a temper is a given. You can't have passion without including ALL moods. But, hitting children, beating animals, or attacking your woman is never ok behavior. Also, we do not want to have to be scared that anytime someone in traffic cuts you off, you're doing to chase him down and attack. We don't want a criminal.

10.  Criminal records. This should be self explanatory. If anyone actually needs this explained to them, they deserve to date the bad boy rejects they end up with. A traffic ticket here or there is one thing, jail time for selling drugs is another. 

11. A womanizer. Overly flirtatious. The FLIRT thing can be bad for a guy or girl. AKA "playa/player". They keep playing the field in a subtle way despite being in a relationship, then dismiss it as nothing to worry about. A good man (or girl) will not flirt, out of respect. Respect is a big key word here I think could handle a lot of these at once. 

12. Mr. Show off. Trophy guy. Winner winner steak dinner. The guy who has to have sports cars, constantly talk about his fabulousness, intelligence, sexual skill, weener, house, job, etc. The guy who enjoys winning at poker, working out, talking about the bad a88 things he does, etc. Despite the more obvious reasons men typically do this (ehm), this is a bad sign for a smart girl. This guy is first off, very self absorbed. Second, he cares TOO MUCH what others think of him or he would not be bending over backwards to rub their faces in it. This means if gal gets fat and preggers, or cancer, mr "wonderful" would be out the door. If you age badly or even if he just gets sick of you, he will prob cheat. Possibly not ever marry either. He might avoid it for fear of those things. 

13. Bar fly. Skipping the bar fly-etts reason. Lets go to the heart of the problems. Drinking. It will be what he goes to for every issue you have. It will be his answer to his problems. This goes to any vice like this. You do not want to marry a drunk. An alcoholic. There should be no good reason to have to explain that.

14. The young forever college rules retard. If a guy is in his mid-late twenties and acts like a high schooler still, be worried. Its one thing to enjoy video games or cartoons, it's another to still be as immature as a high school boy. Period. You can be childlike and mature at the same time. But immature is something that takes over. You can't be a man and immature.

15. The hater. The control freak. Or the overly strict. 

All in one category. The "too far" guys. 

Guys that get all overly controlling of what you can do (says the girl whose husband won't let her cut or color her hair, lol, but he really for the most part lets me do what I want to) will be a definite problem in the long run. Likely driving you to drink, cheat, leave or want to die. This one includes the crazy suspicious jealous freaks. 

Guys that are bigots or haters are a huge issue too. You should never get in a relationship with someone who has hate in their heart towards a people or group that in a whole has done nothing to him. 

Overly strict guys are begging to have wives arguing or rebelling. Unless they are lucky to find that meek mild doormat wife. But she is destined to suffer inside, misery forever. These guys fall in with control freak, but often have a backing. Religion, politics, something. Beware. 

They equal down, at their core to anger, unresolved issues and hate. 

Think about Jesus. Try to get as close to him in a man as possible and you can not go wrong. He was a caring, loving forgiving, wise calm respectful person who stood against the masses. Against the grain. 

ADVICE TIME: personality, thats the important part. Its so hard to get all that right in one guy that matches what you want, that you might should lay easy on the more shallow desires. ;) Who knows once you "let go", you could get it all! 

Insight to Outsight

So, there are a few "insights" or epiphanies I have had. Learned, discovered, what have you. 

One. 

My lawyer, who never briefs me (or instructs me or explains crap!), asked me, mid session (in front of judge) about my "racing thoughts". To my knowledge I have not heard this term, nor knew what it meant. Of coarse, I forget my own name, birthday, age, or what I said ten mins ago. So, my memory is not a case maker/breaker. So I tried to wing it, by explaining what I do deal with in my thoughts. Well, here is what I read today as to what racing thoughts are....

"Racing thoughts refers to the rapid thought patterns that often occur in manic, hypomanic, or mixed episodes. While racing thoughts are most commonly described in people with bipolar disorder, they are also common with anxiety disorders, such as OCD. Racing thoughts are also associated with use of amphetamines and sleep deprivation.^[1]

Racing thoughts may be experienced as background or take over a person's consciousness. Thoughts, music, and voices might be zooming through one's mind. There also might be a repetitive pattern of voice or of pressure without any associated "sound". It is a very overwhelming and irritating feeling, and can result in losing track of time.

Generally, racing thoughts are described by an individual who has had an episode as an event where the mind uncontrollably brings up random thoughts and memories and switches between them very quickly. Sometimes they are related, as one thought leads to another; other times they are completely random. A person suffering from an episode of racing thoughts has no control over his or her train of thought and it stops them from focusing on one topic or prevents sleeping." (wiki)

 Well, yes. But ALL the time pretty much. My mind is like an eight lane freeway. Sometimes there is more traffic than others, but there are always eight open lanes of thought going. ALWAYS. So, I guess I do.

I'm thinking, I described my issues, and they attached the name. But I am not sure I was ever informed of it. Granted, as previously stated, BAD BAD AWFUL MEMORY.

Two.

Love.... Where is it?

Spread love. Not anger. Hate is bad, no matter how nice its dressed or what intentions its hiding behind. Touch the world with a tender hand. An open heart. 

I know people can have good intentions. But first and foremost, loving each other, our brothers and sister, our fellow man, that should be our focus. 

Our world is maintaining a cold heart, but a strong tongue.  Principles can be fought, ideals may not be agreed on, but love should. We are to diverse in our beliefs, creeds, ideals, opinions, races, sex, ages, etc. So we should stop focusing on the ones we don't like, on leaving some one out, on our anger towards someone, and focus on healing our world with love.

this is my open eyes moment. I realize, my mouth, mind and heart containers to many negatives. I thought about how much I say that is hurtful. How often I pick at people. This is not constructive behavior. To make the world a better place, we must love all we can. Everyone. Inspire through love, not war. Not anger or bills, or court, or protests or segregation, or hate of any kind. 

I can be mean. I have been working on fixing that. But today, on thinking about Jesus, and how kind and loving he was to everyone, even to the scum of the ghetto, the whores and thieves. He was gentle and kind, spreading the word through love, acts of kindness, tenderness, forgiveness, and teachings. I think on children these days growing up in such a hate filled, war crazy, argumentative, noninclusive, angry, finger pointing, judgmental society. Children are learning anger to early. I feel a weight in my chest for my actions throughout my life. 

You cannot be a good person if you are a mean person. I want to be good, to be kind. 

I don't want hate in my heart. And I do not except that god hates any person. All SINNERS are the same in his eyes. Lost children, he loves them and wants them back. Not hate. Concern. Jesus would lead back by love, not segregating them. God is light, pure good, love. Love cannot be hate. There can be no dark in light.

Sometimes, we should shake a finger at ourselves. I think that self evalutaion, and reinvention (or editting) is a good practice. It is something that we should keep in mind during our "new years resalutions" (not just "i'll lose weight") or  "spring cleaning" (clean your self) whenever. 

I try to. But once in a pink moon, I'll have a big heart pounding, guilt inducing, mind opening insight that brings real self AWARENESS. That makes me realize big things in me I should fix. That I can be wrong, be human, I can sin. 

Instead of finding wrong things in others, look for them in yourself. In stead of battling others, battle yourself. Instead of saving their souls, save yourself. Now to the wrong mind, that all could be taken wrong. I mean it in a good way. A self reflection way. A loving way. We are to nosey, to concerned with what everyone else is doing. "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone". and "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

I think self meditation, and self "medication" (find it, fix it), is an important part of us being human. Keep a good eye on yourself, you never know what crap you'll pull, your human. Human = flawed. We are forever stumbling children, when we reach full height and longer years, we put our big boy pants on and think we have everything figured out. We are in CONSTANT need or watching correcting, fixing. Even the best behaved people I know, the most godly, make MISTAKES A LOT. And like the rest of us, they will not always see them. Let no man be your leader, your idle, your influence. Only Jesus was fit for that job.

I hate taking a stance on a "side". Like there are only two sides to everything. Like life is ever that cut and dry, that simple.  But I will take the side of equality, togetherness, kindness and love. If its not on either side, I'm not picking one. Its not a fight worth getting in.

You always GET OUT what YOU PUT IN. Put in LOVE.

Three!

I give up on all politics. 

You ever realize your fighting a loosing battle? The unwinnable war? Politics. Yup. Its not even about what its about. Its a mini drama series. An ongoing cat fight. Mud slinging babes in bikinis. Its a song an dance, a show, a game, a facade. Politicians do not care for anyone, not really even their own family. To me, they are all to deep in the doodoo to smell the stink. Pigs. Swine. All of them. Unsavable? NO, never. But some one would have to end the game they are all so absorbed in. Selling their souls too. Only god can do that. No human is going to stop it. Not at this point. Esp not with most people buying tickets to the show. Most Americans eat this truth flavored lie pie like its the real deal. They swallow it up. They are open to swallowing anything others tell them, they do not see that those others are as misinformed as they are. Blind leading the blind. All surrounded by this evil political circus. 

There is no "good" choice. There is no real choice at all. That is what people do not understand. We do not have control, they took it away. We are stuck with this minor plastic illusion of a choice. Cheap plastic if you ask me. But just enough to fool the weak, the warn, the beaten down, the poor, the unhappy, the desperate people of our society. The majority of us. We are to stressed, busy, unhappy or tired to pay close attention. We are all grasping at straws for sanity here. People are not ready to believe the country is so far from what we want it to be. So far in the sewers, in the muck, so polluted. 

That is what is truely what is wrong with the world. Could it be fixed by mere humans? YES, but not easily. These days we are soft and not use to the labor and stress of revolution. Who would stand up first? Who would have the strength of will to follow? Would they be capable of handling the possible consequences? 

I just see that as unlikely. People are to comfortable in today's society. Technology, modernization, etc. To much to distract us. To much we feel we would have to give up. It take desperate times. 

Needless to say, to the DISMAY of everyone else, I will likely not be voting. I REMOVE MYSELF from the circus, from the GAME. Player out! 

LASTLY!

On the subject of EQUALITY....

lets discuss FEMINIST real quick.

THEY ARE WRONG>>>THE END...lol, no jk. Sort of.

Women that do this seem angry. Unhappy, generally unpleasent. Kinda remind me of a vicious untrained dog let off its leash. 

I think there is a misunderstanding with the EQUALITY thing. Ladies, being treated EQUAL to men does NOT mean being treated BETTER than them. 

Your not in compition with the. Stop being so angry and fighting unneeded battles. Your a cat they are dogs. WE ARE DIFFERENT! Stop comparing apples to oranges. We have different things about us that make us wonderful. We ARE NOT the same as men, or we WOULD BE MEN. 

This attitude does nothing for our society. I totally get how it started, but their is to much anger behind it now, and its taking it to a bad place. LETITGO

Try just being yourself, being happy, NON ARGUMENTATIVE, friendly, kind and loving. Do you think Jesus would like the attitude? The behaviors? Its hard enough to get men to act right, the last thing we need is women behaving like men.

REJOICE in being a soft girly blessed female. ENJOY what we are given, BE THANKFUL and be PROUD that you are different with men. STOP RUNNING IN RACES THAT ARE NOT YOURS! 

CAn't we all just get along? And stop pretending the world is as backward as it was! Its issues now are not the same as before. Now its issues belong to all the unkindness and ingenuousness, and all the controlling unhappy people causing problems. The anger. The wars, The hate. Its all bad, dark, negative.

LETS SPREAD LOVE, KINDNESS, LIGHT INTO THIS DARK WORLD -IN ONLY THE KIND LOVING TENDER WAY A WOMEN CAN!

Be proud to be a women, but be a WOMEN. NOT a MAN!

those are all my opinions. Please don't get mad and burn churches or bridges over it. Do not let the thoughts of others so easily upset you. My intention are positive. I do not intend to upset you. But if you are, that is on you to handle. 

If you visit, I can hug you though :)