More Than Love

4 February 2010 

This is unfamiliar territory in my life. I’m at a point of absolute devotion and infatuation and just such saturating emotions in my relationship that I find the word “love” doesn’t cover it. I think that the word is over used, commercial, popular, often over stated, dramatized, and usually a jumped to conclusion that fades away.

My situation, part of me feels like it’s completely unique to us. Another part, however, thinks “how truly sad would it be if no one loved as much as we”

I am realistic and I understand that such strong emotions carry a pleasantly but perplexing toxin that vexes ones straight and forward logical understanding of life in comparison. Simply bewitching sweet thick perfume that can wrap you up in the feeling that you own, all of them, even the more deeply felt ones. Wrap you up tight and hugging you warmly in a magical sunrise moment of sheer emotions.

This exceptional ecstasy of thoughts and feeling that create such a deep dark purple hue of seriously concentrated love is flowing like a wild dancing river deep inside me every time I so much as see his face.  When He holds me he quiets the rushing rapids to a tranquil peaceful and elegant shade of summer sky blue. Sparkling and simply dazzling like the ocean that moves in each iris of his passionate caring eyes. Eyes one could more than “get lost in”. Simply a glance is felt through my spine, my flesh, my heart, my soul. A deep stare creates a rabbit hole like wonderland, and I become Alice, forever tumbling in a world of emotions like a strange high that I cannot understand. It’s simply a beautiful madness. But, madness I’d gladly build my home, and forever live gaily in.

His strong tender arms present a comfort, warm and soft like a thick velour blanket I could fall asleep in. Yet strong and very much of a man, liked to those substantial beams of wood that hold up and support the whole house. These arms “build” a beautiful caring strong structured home. One I feel truly safe in.

His heart is like a slow cooked stew. A rich broth of honest devout emotions. A hearty mix of meat and potatoes that can satisfy even the most starved heart, leaving you simply “stuffed” with true love. On top of this, a good for you blend of veggies and herbs, each one representing his good intentions and his need to fix anything that ails you. Like sitting at your bedside and holding you when you cry or no reason. This soup is almost fattening if you add in this incurable desire to spoil and serve me for no reason.

Making love to him, always reaching a higher cloud each time we embrace each other. Helping me to realize the sky is truly endless, as is the perfect heaven I feel, heart pounding, sweat dripping, kissing deeper, when we are one. The lack of words to describe the absolutely awesome moment of  our simultaneous sparkling finish as we rest and smile together blooming, blushing, panting from the sheer magnificence of our accomplishment.

Dreams of him painted on every day, as well the vivid ones that enchant me through the night. Dreams of our plans, our future. Dreams of us growing old together. Dying in each others arms, and then soaring through the cosmos as one for the remainder of our eternity. Dreams of him, dreaming of me.

Oh how sweetly he sleeps. Many moments I have spent watching him sleep. Even photographing it, as though it might be the last time I get to see it.

How does one thank somebody for this? How would I show appreciation for giving me this extensive, eternal, deep, perfect gift of love, and beyond? For giving me beautiful sunrises and sunsets in my future? Celebrations with families’ together, embracing, arm in arm, simple meals, lavish romantic dinners, moments, dates, nights cuddled togthers, mornings waking up tangled together, or just arms to fall into? How I ask shall I thank him?

All I can do, I suppose, is spend eternity giving all this back to him within my ability. Nay, beyond, for he deserves no less than (more than) perfection.

~ Forever HIS~

(Lani D. Wrevhn)

Elena Wright Stevens

*** I wrote this after we were married I believe. I found it on one of my many lost blogs. I had put a lot of work and feeling into it so I figured I would post it. ***

Year 5 of "Happily Ever After"

                     11/5 Anniversary ❤
 

so year 5 of being married is pretty fantastic. I am not sure why so many people complain about marriage. It does not seem scary, stressful, or all that hard. I do not find myself having any issues with being angry or depressed or wishing I was not married. Neither of us have wandering eyes or anything like that. We are BFF and love spending time together. And it's not like just me always hanging around him, he hangs around me all the time as well. We follow each other around and want to do everything together.
Since I married somebody who is so much like me we have the same taste in movies and music and everything. Both families are getting along really well together as well. Not too long ago my family got to meet his family and they loved each other. We are intimate frequently, way more frequently then the average married couple. We snuggle all of the freakin time and I love that probably the most. He has to be 1 of these most snuggly husband ever! He snuggles and his sleep big time too, he cannot sleep next to me and not hold me.we are both bipolar, so course we have our mood shifts. But both of us are learning how to control our tempers and it is more and more frequently getting so much better.
 I barely ever have a temper tantrum incident anymore at all. I have not had a panic attack and I can't tell you how long. I even sleep better than I used to.he is learning what triggers him and is doing so much better also. He hasn't been angry in quite a while. In fact for the past few weeks the only face I can really picture him making is smiling.
 We are so connected he even text me while at work or on the road until he gets home. It is great to have such a close best friend. It is even better to be married to that best friend. He even gets along with all of my friends. And the new friends he is making in Austell I get along with really well also. And the ones he is made in the army, etc. Neither of us are overly sensitive or overly emotional people. But we still remain to both be romantic and passionate people. We are open-minded & love to do stuff. Whether it be going to Atlanta to the aquarium or what have you, the theater, dinner, or even just staying at home with our gazillion of Blu rays and DVDs we just love spending time together. He even likes to shop! Although his idea of what to shop for is different than mine. He only wants to shop for stuff that he can buy. He says he finds it irritating to see things that he wants but not be able to buy them. Not specifically to say that we couldn't afford them at that time, but some of them we do not have anywhere to put or already have one or whatever. Like I don't think that we have anywhere to put another TV. Currently we own 4. We just bought another samsung for the living room because we liked the 3d Samsung TV in our bedroom so much. Plus we have a Toshiba and I think a Panasonic. Definitely like the Samsung better! We love gadgets and gizmos and buy a lot of those type of things. It is another one of the things that we share.
We also share our love for our and all furry animals. We also share our beliefs, mostly share our political opinions, and our desire to not have children.we are considering moving. A friend of mine moved several states away and she has not been back in America that long. I already miss her and she has always been one of my best friend. jacob absolutely loves her and her husband and we both love her children as well. She has great kids. And she found a really great guy. And we all get along so well. It seems a shame to waste that with such a vast distance. We don't really have anything specifically anchoring us down to Georgia. So we might move. Still considering. But the state she move to is pretty interesting and intriguing.
 I think I have gotten a little off the point. This is basically just a summary for all of you out there who are worried about what your marriage will be like in a few years or if you should get married. This is basically just to let those of you out there like that I know that marriage is pretty fabulous. Like I said, I do not understand where all of the negativity has come from. I am assuming that a lot of the divorce rate is people who are just being very stubborn, selfish, or whatever. Maybe some has become different people since they married. Maybe some Marry that did not have a well developed friendship and trust before. Maybe some of them married without thinking it through, or to spontaneously. I'm not really sure what some people reasonings are. But so far husband and I are doing well.
I read an article the other day that said a lot of people that have problems or are going to divorce happens before the sixth year. Well we are on our 5th year so I think that we are probably fairly safe. Because if anything we are getting closer and becoming better people and improving ourselves as both individuals and as a couple. It really helps to have support of friends and family also. If your friends and family don't get along with yourself then you are going to have problems.

I really do love my life now and am so very blessed. I try to remember to thank God for that. I think it's important for us to remember to be thankful for certain things. You do not want to wait until those things have passed on or are taken away or expire before you are thankful. I was never thankful enough for my father during the time that I had him. But I talk to him everyday now. Pray God is taking care of him. And all the fuzzies we lost through our lives.


So again I say, those of you considering marriage you should definitely do it if you have a stable friendship and both have agreeable beliefs and opinions and thoughts. Make sure you are not marrying because of I need to or because of attraction or welts or something fleeting. And those of you who are married you might be hitting a rough spot, I would say to not lose faith. If you stick it out and the storm passes you might be even closer than you were before. Have faith that it will work out. And praying can't hurt either! :-)

5 Year marriage couple selfie 11-5-14

5 Year marriage couple selfie to commemorate 

do note that this was typed with my microphone so if parts of it do not make sense I apologize. As I am doing this on the fly...I do not really have the time or desire to spell and grammar check everything. But I thank you for reading and hope that you enjoyed.

Whats a "Wife"? RANT BLOG

I'm Elena. I'm married to Jacob. I love and adore him. SO WHAT?

Is it anyone else's business HOW, WHY, WHEN OR WHAT? Nope. NO ONE can tell me how to run my marriage. If I want to spoil the snot out of my adorable loving husband (to what can occasionally be precieved from outsiders as "overboard") THAT IS MY BUSINESS.

Do I think I do TOO MUCH? No I do not. I honestly could do even better. 

Is there ANYTHING wrong with wanting to be THE DREAM WIFE? Why am I crazy for wanting to please my loving husband? Why does it bug people so much that I spoil him? He is not a pig, a monster. He is not taking advantage of me. 

If I wanted to sit on my butt and groan about my life and be a B he would not care. Though, I'm sure he did not fall in love with me for my negative side. He does not ask things of me that I have not been offering on him. I choose to do this. I could tell him I want to work and him to take my place. He prob would. But I like the idea of being THE PERFECT WIFE. Of him having better bragging rights other than just "my wife can cook" or "We get along" or "Shes pretty".Why can't it be all the great things?

I have issues with people finding out to what extent I spoil him and judging me. Even some thinking I'm a bad person for it. I say SCREW YOU... MY MARRIAGE MY BUSINESS! NOT YOURS! 

LOOK - as long as I'm not breaking any laws or hurting people, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO IN MY OWN LIFE? STOP BEING SO NOSEY, GET YOUR OWN LIFE. 

LEAVE US ALONE TO RUN OURS HOW WE SEE FIT. And if that includes spoiling my husband.... SO BE IT! He is mine after all, I married him. So i'll do what I want with my things.

yes I said mine. I own him, he owns me, we have a signed agreement to that effect. 

its so frustrating that others gotta try to piss on my mood with complaining.

 No matter what ppl say. I'll continue supporting, loving, adoring and spoiling my husband. Thats my job, I'm his WIFE.

The "Do 4 U" Epidemic (Prob not super chick friendly)

*this was inspired by a chick in an MFP forum post about her and her husbands issues. And the slew of "you go girl" and "do u" advice that followed. Bad advice for a marriage on the rocks already*

I understand, girls have power now...and thats just precious and all, but lets get serious for a moment. Lets put the PMS and mood swings aside. Lets stop burning our bras and bludgeoning with skillets. Lets just let go of the "take me for-serious" attitudes, get the hands off the hips, the scrunches off the lips, and talk real big girl life for a moment. 

Yes, *pats on head* your super-duper important, your the bestest thing ever, the prettiest and mostest awesome and deserving starlet diva miss thing anyone has ever seen. Ok, now moving on...

Lets pretend for one moment women really did want to be EQUAL to men, and not really better than them (ie - super bitch goddesses that crush their nuts and wallets at the slightest sign of disobedience and improper worship). 

Lets pretend that their feeling, thoughts, etc, actually mean something to women, and that women really did plan on fulfilling the marriage vows. That you do put his needs first, that you are willing to take a bullet for your love. That you do care about something outside of yourself more.

MARRIAGE

Let us explore what I define this UNION to mean, shall we? 

UnIon. UnI....on. (just saying....)

Its a merging, or two ppl into one. I personally (you do not have to agree, but me n' hubs do and that is what matters) think that it means that when two soulmates find each other, that they are eternally bound in love. Being bound together should not be bad, btw. To me marriage is saying "You mean more to me than ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE, INCLUDING MYSELF". 

WHY IS IT PUTTING SOMEONE ELSES NEEDS ABOVE YOURS HAS BECOME A BAD THING???????

Why is caring about how they feel or think bad? Why is caring bad? 

I think that the best marriage is one where the largest % of time is you spending making them happy. And they you. Its an exchange. You let go of yourself, and give yourself to them, they let go of themselves, and give them to you. You work to make one another happy, like a ying yang or a RING. A circle of happiness, that keeps going on and on. 

Yes there will be learning periods, where they did not know how to do this right, or that that bothered you. But you just settle it and keep going. 

And you DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN AN ARGUMENT OR GET YOUR WAY. Compromise ppl. Its not only part of growing up, its part of love. If you love somebody give a few inches, and try to meet in the middle. Your not losing. Its not a battle! IF YOU THINK ITS A WAR BETWEEN YOU TWO, BATTLES, THEN YOU ARE SEPARATING SIDES AND THATS NOT GOOD. 

It should not be this bratty prideful selfish desire to be right and get what YOU want. It should be about "Whats best for US AS A WHOLE?". 

And lets just be honest here, no matter how much they rock and you love them....

FRIENDS AND FAMILY (PEOPLE REALLY) ARE NOT REALLY GREAT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

Why? I'll tell you. 

Outside opinions, often getting one side, and prone to taking a side. Opinions that are likely not the same as yours (both "yours" not you "yours") They love to delve out advice, and its not often "kiss and make up" advice. And with the high rate and ridiculously common problem of failed or bad (or imperfect) marriages out there, why on earth would you take any outside advice? Advice that is likely tainted by a imperfect relationship? And even in perfect ones, its not "one size fits all". Something can work for one and not another. Thats why we use the "smile and nod" method. You politely accept, listen, smile and nod your head in agreement, but not absorb and ounce of it. 

What else can be trouble? Temptations. Like opposite sex friends..... let us explore that randomly picked topic! 

*not random, it was the issue the girl previously noted at very top was having*

Why do some ppl say that men and women find it hard to be friends? Well, I suppose not ALL do. But lets face it (lets get honest), its mostly an issue that ATTRACTIVE SEXY PEOPLE FACE. The desirable ppl usually realize that it is in fact hard, because ppl want them. They are physically attracted to them, and if on top of that attraction, they are friendly it seems that 2/3's is good enough to egnite a spark. Which is what causes trouble. I honestly am shocked that I have to explain this to people. But I guess that there are people that are less desireable (personality, sexuality, attractiveness) so they might not have had that issue. 

Picture you are in elementary school. You got this bestest buddy that you adore. Bestest buddy and you get in a disagreement. And bestest buddy goes and plays with other kids often while still mad at you. Here is where ppl get confused by tossing up emotional related details. "Insecure" or "Trust issues". 

Think of it in the since of a mouse. A mouse goes to one door and gets zapped, and another and gets cheese. The mouses mind will lead him to avoid the zappy door, and the cheese door will be more appealing. Even if zappy door was a door to its house, family, or freedom. It will choose cheese door. 

Well in bestestbudville, bestest buddies mind is now being conditioned like the mouse. Unpleasant interactions with you, yet pleasant ones with others might lead bud to pick another besty. Being that you have now become an unpleasant thing to deal with. Even if it was just temporary. 

This goes even moreso in life. Because that unpleasantness is often magnified by outsiders words. And also... if sex is not being had, than hormones can lend a hand in exasperating the dilemma. 

ME VS THEM

People seem to have an issue with the "of one mind" part of marriage. They act like that they and their spouse are on separate teams. Like their is a clear winner and loser. This is not suppose to be the case. Honey, if your on separate teams, your both losing in the relationship. 

It also should not have to be him vs your friends, your family, ex lovers, or even a dog. (that works both ways actually). If there was a big battle between you and his mother (very commonly wives and mothers butt heads due to the mother having issues with an idea of being "replaced" or out done by the new women) and this battle got heated, to full on war, would you not demand that he pick between his mother and you? YES! Most women I know have had this issue at one point and made him choose. So why is it okay for you to seperate him from family for your love, but NOT okay for him to say he has issues with friends you have?????? HOW IS THAT FAIR!!!!????

WHY IS IT, THAT IT SEEMS, THAT ONLY US CHICKS GET THE RIGHT TO DEMAND AND COMPLAIN IN RELATIONSHIPS, BUT NOT MEN?????? 

MEN ARE PPPL TOO! Just saying.

Go on pretending your Queen Fantastic, on your throne of Fabulous ruling your kingom of Awesome. Thats fine, strut the walk, squak the talk. Whatever. But if you refuse to see him as a part of your team, and your equal, then your DEPRIVING YOURSELF OF AN AWESOME LOVE.

So I suppose by now, you can guess, I'M NOT A FEMMINIST? True, I'm not down with that. I believe in SPOILING MY MAN ROTTEN! BEYOND ROTTEN! 

In fact, the ones who know us well as a couple have come to make jokes about this. And in his army group I'm dubbed "the cool wife" often jesting he doesn't "desreve" me. Which is bull btw! 

Not all deeds may be as obvious on both sides to outside veiwers, but he has his deeds too. I might spoil him in more obvious ways, but he has my needs well satisfied. 

THINK OF IT LIKE BATTERIES!

You both have batteries (love/needs) that need to stay charged. And imagine it costs energy to fill the others charge. Now they need to do the same to fill your charge. So your eternally charging one another. NO OUTSIDE CHARGING NEEDED. 

This is also why outside advice can not work. Due to how different each person is, pairing two individual ppl together makes for very unique pairing. Not all needs and whatnot work for all ppl. You must learn theirs, keep them charged and teach them yours, so they can charge yours. 

If you do it right, you'll know. There is a euphoria felt when a couples hearts and mind work as one. A sense of fullfilment and completion. 

Now, this is not to say, DONT HAVE FRIENDS, FUN OR FAMILY. Its to say... GET THINGS RIGHT WITH EACH OTHER FIRST, PRIORITIZE OR JUST LET THEM GO AND "DO FOR YOU". YOU CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS AND BE HAPPY. 

Couples can have friends and be happy. If they are a whole heart and mind. If they are a happy couple. 

.... I should prob stop here. I can go on forever!

love ld