Saturday, September 3, 2011

I Married Three Men

The 3 men of which I speak? Their names are all "Jacob". 
Explain? OF COARSE!

When you marry, there is a few lines in there summing up the whole "through various goods and bads". Well, this includes the many, or lack of, faces of who ever you are wedding yourself to. 

My husband has three. I'll go through them quickly. Then explain.

- Adult Jacob
- Grandpa Jacob
- Baby Jacob

All three swirl into one man. Only one making an appearance at a time. 


This would be about as close to a "middle ground" as you get with my hubby. I more often see this side when he has on his "serious pants" or is around his family or certain people. When there is some form of "effort" involved, this Jacob shows up to get the work done. Neither grumpy or happy, just there to do the deed.

next is......


"Mister grumpy britches", side of my husband. He turns into a grumpy irritable, sometimes less rational, version of my hubby. Ready to get in peoples faces or throw rocks at children if things get in his way or piss him off. Breaking things, yelling, and bird fingers accompany this Jacob in more extreme situations. 

He told me today when grocery shopping (always brings out grandpa in him) "You better live my whole life, because your the only one who keeps me sane enough to not maul over all these people with my cart!" Due to us being at the lesser of the two wally worlds in our area, and people there move slower than snails, rudely blocking isles and bumping into you while there children run a muck.

This Jacob is appears less and less this past year. He seems to be going into retirement lately, which I'm perfectly okay with. I think its my learning to adapt and work with Jacobs moods that helps him get over his frustrations. His grandpa side in stressful situations is being replaced with "Adult Jacob" swooping in and handling them instead. I'm very proud. 

lastly, my fave!


My "cute lil' stinker" husband. Twisted as it may sound, this is the best fitting, and most preferred pairing. I go into "mother" mode, and Jacob is a big ol' adorable sweet cute and naughty lil' imp. Sneaking up to scare me any chance he gets, purposing going out of his way to throw things on the floor all the while giggling under the covers while I clean the same mess three times over (he will keep it up a few times). Knowing that all he has to do is go "but wane-uh..." and pout his lip and look at me with his big eyes and all is forgiven. At most he gets a spanking. Oh yes, I spank my hubby. I punch his butt sometimes because spanking do nothing, even that he giggles over though. Its all kinda a big "game". 

My cutie pie has some desire to be both "wifed" and "mothered". He needs it, and I work with him to give him whatever he needs. Teaching him life lessons and society rules he has not yet learned. Even simple ones like saying "bless you" after a person sneezes. He has gotten so use to that one, now he gets upset if he is not blessed. There are still lessons for him to learn, and all the time in the world for me to spoil him rotten. Oh yes, ROTTEN! MY HUSBAND IS A UBER BRAT, by my own hand. I've created a monster, but his powers of cute outway any reasoning of mine. Besides, lets be honest, I LOVE IT!

This is my cuddley lil' stinker husband. Who snuggles with me for hours, sings me cute songs, and talks me into all sorts of things via his cutie pie-ness. This is one of my favorite of the three. 

But all three combine to make my sweet, loving, bestest buddy, and lover, loyal, caring, strong, sexy, and unique hubby! who is irreplaceable! 


As well as his many sides. He is kinda like the seven dwarves, but more. Playful, funny, angry, lazy, stinker, loving, cuddly, hyper, social, talkative, grumpy, sleepy, giving, bratty, sexy, strong, and happy.

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