Mr. Wrongs are everywhere....
Here is a blog for you single and looking girls out there. There are plenty of fish in the sea they say, but unfortunately a lot of those fish are losers. Harsh? But true. In your own particular contest for MR. RIGHT, most of the guys fall short. Now to be fair, a lot of girls add a few to many things to the "must be" list that don't or should not matter in a desire to impress the world or meet day dreams they have had or books they read, or movies they see. But, it is true that even through the seemingly "nice" guys, there are far too many no-nos. So girls, to have a hottie or desirable man, will date a lot of bad eggs and jerks. Or just bad fits. Convincing themselves that all men suck. While I would say I agree with that, there is some male sided explanation needed before I continue on the "most men suck" road.
Men are affected by those around them. VERY STRONGLY. They are affected by what they see, and learn. How they were brought up, who befriended them growing up, who they idolized, etc. All make up the man you meet. Men, more than women, seem to be a product of their environment. A fictional example, look at batman. His early childhood greatly affected his whole life. Or think of men going to Vegas (whose slogan is "what happens here stays here") If one snorts cocaine off a drunken hooker the rest are likely to join in. (Sort of kidding with the last example...sort of)
Women as teenagers are not much different. But it stops there. After collage we are a lot less likely to be SO easily affected. Not completely without though. There are the clucking hen friends that always advise "He is probably cheating on you" or "leave his butt", or "screw what he thinks!" or "He doesn't seem to care about what you want" or the classic "If it was me...".
Quick advice, never listen to outside advise on your relationship. Unless it's a professional!
Anyway. MEN. Bad men signs. Let's do this.
1. Eateries. Places one eats. Never pick up a guy from Hooters anything similar. This is surely a sign that not only will this continue through your relationship, but that said man has eyeball mind control issues. Not exactly a sign of class.
These girls flirt for tips or get fired. Just remember that. They are used to married men hitting on them, probably more than single guys, so it won't mean much to them.
2. Strip clubs. No not all men go to strip clubs. There is a very rare breed of men that have higher moral standards, or at least when in a relationship. If can grab one who has never been, it's like a lottery win. Rare and lucky!
Some men don't just see the skin, but the lack of opportunity to get that skin, the sex diseases surely running rampid, or just plain find being horney in public (surrounded by other horney men everywhere around you) bothering. If they ever met or knew one, they know how truly unhappy the girls are. How they have to live in denial or drugging themselves to handle their jobs. Though there are a few just born to skank. That want attention any way they can get it, that have a need to have men drool over them and use them. But most are circling a drain funded by the patrons. And rarely single, or in happy relationships.
3. Porn. Porn is bad, mmmkay? It is not a healthy practice for any relationship. Not even for the women. (Nor are women not having sex with their men for the love of their sex toys) You should keep love beautiful, magical and pure. Make love, not f***. That's crude and nasty. Love can be crazy, but there is emotions of love mixed in the acts, vs just "I want to get mine".
There are two kinds of women I will discuss with porn. One "I don't care" and the other "heck no". The careless ones often are either insecure and not wanting dude to run off from upsetting him, trying to be cool women, or they themselves porn hounds and want the right. None of which are good in the long run.
The "NO!" ones? Let us see if we can break down why they might not like this. True, there are some insecure girls in this group too. But some just think "Eew". Also the godly girls who are aware bible says "no" to this also.
Porn takes your mate out of the picture, while you are having an "almost sex" experience with another "person". (Who ever, whatever, you are watching) It also, not classy. Very skanky. It makes the "love" you make with your spouse mean less. It means images of naked people are in your mind always. It means your person is not satisfying you and instead of finding a together fix it solution you are ignoring the problem by "getting yours" without them. Most spouses are willing if in love and notified correctly , to be your fantasy. Or beyond. To work with you to almost boundless ends. Got to stop thinking "me" and start thinking "we")
There are men who give up all this when they meet their dream girl.
4. Mama's boys. Oh yes. To the moms out there, you might get defensive. But be aware, this term is not just for every boy who loves his mom, but to the ones who take it too far.
This refers to men who will dash out on plans to meet mommy for tea, or who stop dating a girl cause mommy said no. Men who remember there moms birthday but forget your anniversary, or who go on kinda creepy mom dates with mommy. Feet rubbing, face kissing, flower giving, hand holding, mamas boys.
Women are nurturing guys. Even the bitchy ones deep down. It's just in our DNA. We want to take care of our men, and later our family we build with that guy. We do not want to compete with a mother who is so desperate for male attention she tries to drive away any chick from her "baby boy" who is playing the part her husband is not. (Or lack of). We do not need to be criticized, picked on, bossed around, watched, gossiped about, or to try to pry you off mommies lap long enough to say "hi!". We want a MAN. A GROWN MAN! Not a big baby stuck sucking on mommy's tit. Women will avoid these types of guys.
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
(Mark 10:6-9 ESV)
5. Words. A classy girl will not tolerate well a man who uses foul language.
Its trashy, uncooth, and vulgar. Its one thing to make a point, or to tell a quick bad joke, or if you're in a fury, or in pain. But to throw them in like its increasing your penis size each word, no. Not good. In fact any stupid act men do to try to hard to be more manly puts off a signal to smart classy girls "compensating?" Real men just are great, they do not have to pretend to be, or do dumb things to put up a front of big peepees. They just exude confidence and are themselves.
5. Bad friends. Bad friends are almost equal to Mamas boy. If I guy mimics his friends or has similarities to them, and surrounds himself with pricks, then it does not look good for the future. These guys will affect his opinion, clothing, actions, etc. And to an onlooking chick this is bad news. In fact, bad friends mixed with one nice guy friend can mean your chick will leave you for him. Women think they want one thing, but after they get enough of that they wake up and want another.
"You can't make the right decisions 'til you tried all the wrong ones?" Sweet home Alabama.
Actually, this is fairly true for some women. But once we have our epiphany, there is no changing our minds.
6. Bad manners. Yes manners still matter. Do we expect you to act as fabulously as the men in our chick flick movies from the 15,16, 17, 18 hundreds? No. That's one of those dreams girls have like winning an endless lottery, her foe magically getting fat and ugly, her evil boss getting fired in a super embarrassing fashion and her getting promoted, or finding a genie with no wish limit.
No matter how feminist a girl is, she does not want to be treated LITERALLY like one of the boys. Unless she has serious emotional or mental issues. Women may fight it, but we like chivalry. We don't want it to die. Some unhappily married or miserably lonely bitch complained and started a revolution like war against it one day, and it's been fading out ever since. The rest of us chicks, meanwhile, pond our fists at the air and cry out "Why???". We want it. We would have to get used to it, be aware, if we have never had it though. It can be shocking.
Even something as simple as door openings, like my hubby does, or carrying heavy things. Whatever. MANNERS AND CHIERLY. Bless me when I sneeze or suffer. That is my motto. I have a HUGE pet peeve with that.
Now we are aware some men were not taught right, they don't know manners. Learn some basics or tell us, we can help! Be warned, some chicks could try to take this to far, address that early.
Please don't lugee or belch in front of us. In time a fart might pass with laughs that is one thing, but blatant disregard for manners is a bad sign.
7. Lying. Withholding, disguising, falsifying the truth all bad. Be honest. Women like honesty! Open and honest. There is always a way to tell the truth that will be ok. Even if its a dress that looks awful. You will get in trouble, but do it sweetly as possible and it will be less. In the long run, we want the truth. And lies get you in way more. YOU SHOULD NEVER BE OK LYING TO YOUR GIRL.
Really no need to further explain that. It's sort of grade school stuff.
8. Kids, for the kids loving or wanting ladies. Can be ok, for the kids not wanting (me) ladies...bad. Also, kids from to many mothers, not a good sign. That's a lot of "it didn't work out" to take in.
Wanting or not wanting can be a deal breaker or maker with women. This varies with each lady. I personally do not like kids. But still, no woman (well, most) would never date a guy who would hurt kids in any way. If you treat kids badly, it does not say much about you as a person. Also its a good sign you won't treat her right either!
Which brings us to....
9. Temper. Short and sweet... No black or white. No wimping out completely, but no wife beating kill the infidel kinda temper either. We want a man who is passionate, so a temper is a given. You can't have passion without including ALL moods. But, hitting children, beating animals, or attacking your woman is never ok behavior. Also, we do not want to have to be scared that anytime someone in traffic cuts you off, you're doing to chase him down and attack. We don't want a criminal.
10. Criminal records. This should be self explanatory. If anyone actually needs this explained to them, they deserve to date the bad boy rejects they end up with. A traffic ticket here or there is one thing, jail time for selling drugs is another.
11. A womanizer. Overly flirtatious. The FLIRT thing can be bad for a guy or girl. AKA "playa/player". They keep playing the field in a subtle way despite being in a relationship, then dismiss it as nothing to worry about. A good man (or girl) will not flirt, out of respect. Respect is a big key word here I think could handle a lot of these at once.
12. Mr. Show off. Trophy guy. Winner winner steak dinner. The guy who has to have sports cars, constantly talk about his fabulousness, intelligence, sexual skill, weener, house, job, etc. The guy who enjoys winning at poker, working out, talking about the bad a88 things he does, etc. Despite the more obvious reasons men typically do this (ehm), this is a bad sign for a smart girl. This guy is first off, very self absorbed. Second, he cares TOO MUCH what others think of him or he would not be bending over backwards to rub their faces in it. This means if gal gets fat and preggers, or cancer, mr "wonderful" would be out the door. If you age badly or even if he just gets sick of you, he will prob cheat. Possibly not ever marry either. He might avoid it for fear of those things.
13. Bar fly. Skipping the bar fly-etts reason. Lets go to the heart of the problems. Drinking. It will be what he goes to for every issue you have. It will be his answer to his problems. This goes to any vice like this. You do not want to marry a drunk. An alcoholic. There should be no good reason to have to explain that.
14. The young forever college rules retard. If a guy is in his mid-late twenties and acts like a high schooler still, be worried. Its one thing to enjoy video games or cartoons, it's another to still be as immature as a high school boy. Period. You can be childlike and mature at the same time. But immature is something that takes over. You can't be a man and immature.
15. The hater. The control freak. Or the overly strict.
All in one category. The "too far" guys.
Guys that get all overly controlling of what you can do (says the girl whose husband won't let her cut or color her hair, lol, but he really for the most part lets me do what I want to) will be a definite problem in the long run. Likely driving you to drink, cheat, leave or want to die. This one includes the crazy suspicious jealous freaks.
Guys that are bigots or haters are a huge issue too. You should never get in a relationship with someone who has hate in their heart towards a people or group that in a whole has done nothing to him.
Overly strict guys are begging to have wives arguing or rebelling. Unless they are lucky to find that meek mild doormat wife. But she is destined to suffer inside, misery forever. These guys fall in with control freak, but often have a backing. Religion, politics, something. Beware.
They equal down, at their core to anger, unresolved issues and hate.
Think about Jesus. Try to get as close to him in a man as possible and you can not go wrong. He was a caring, loving forgiving, wise calm respectful person who stood against the masses. Against the grain.
ADVICE TIME: personality, thats the important part. Its so hard to get all that right in one guy that matches what you want, that you might should lay easy on the more shallow desires. ;) Who knows once you "let go", you could get it all!